Butterflies & Bumblebees

After our 5 hour drive that took 13 hours, we got up and headed down to St. Simon’s Island, Georgia. It rained on the drive down and got rerouted due to flooding. It was cold and I prayed continuously for the clouds to part and the sun to come out!

Then a tornado watch was issued while we ate dinner at an amazing seafood place. Checked into the nice HOTEL and got settled and checked the forecast for the next day…RAIN.

My Aunts had booked a tour of the island which started at 11am. The rain was forecasted to stop at 11am and start again at 2p. It stopped just before 11am and never rained again during the two days we were there!

We shopped and ate more seafood and sat on the pier and went for ice cream. I walked the beach looking for shells.

I’m not big on tours because I don’t retain everything that’s said and they feel like they take forever. The only thing I retained from the tour was when he talked about the sea turtles coming and laying eggs, the residents of the island putting barriers around the eggs to keep them safe and then watching the baby turtles hatch and head to the ocean. He said, “The female turtle always returns to the same beach she was born. She could be 1,000 miles away and she still finds her way back to where she was born.” At some point, we all find our way home, huh?

While we were eating dinner that night, my one Aunt commented on how we were only 45 mins away from Florida and “we should go just to say we went to Florida.” My Mom commented on how she had always wanted to go to St. Augustine, Florida, which was only 1.5 hours away so we all agreed to go the next morning!

I’m so glad I have family that is always up for an adventure and willing to do things outside of plans that were already made.

I’m still waiting to see an alligator. Everyone else has seen a few but when I turn to look, I NEVER SEE THEM! Even the one on the airport runway! How do I not see it on an open runway?!

Here are pics from St. Simon’s Island.

There were jellyfish all over the shore so I wasn’t about to go for a swim but I did walk the beach and enjoy the time to just relax.

Florida is up next!

So…after leaving the town with the “pay by the hour” type motel that I don’t even want to talk about, we started to head towards South Carolina. It would take us 5 hours to get to Pawleys Island where my Aunt has a condo.

I told my Mom and Aunt “Happy Mothers Day” and treated them to lunch but reminded both of them that they are still fired from ever booking a hotel again.

As we were driving down the highway, I saw a sign for a visitors center so I said I was taking the exit and going to the center. I collect stickers and National Park type patches to show where all I have been. I followed the signs and it just took us deeper into off roads of Virginia. They commented about how they liked this drive much better and my Mom mentioned how she wants to drive the Blue Ridge Parkway someday. I told her we could find it and drive a section of it until we needed to go to South Carolina.

I found where you get on in Virginia and had two very happy women. Then they saw signs for a town called “Mt. Airy.” I had no idea what that town was and my Mom said, “It’s Mayberry.” I laughed but she was serious. It was literally Mayberry from the “Andy Griffith Show.” I could NOT believe I was actually in MAYBERRY. Here are pictures to prove it…

We did some shopping and tried eating at a diner on the main drag but since it was Sunday it was closed. So we went to a MEXICAN restaurant in Mayberry! I will admit that it was kinda cool to see the town, well, except for the guy with his windows down blaring rap music while he drove down the Main Street of MAYBERRY. I mean can anyone get much cooler than that?!

During all of this, my Aunt in SC is texting saying she will have dinner ready when we arrive and that she’s going out on the beach and to meet her there. We didn’t think to tell her we made a detour! It was 5 hours from where we left that morning and the gps said we still had 5 hours to go. Didn’t make any sense!

Found the Blue Ridge Parkway again and stopped at some places to take pictures and then came up on a detour. We followed the detour and followed the detour and followed the detour. I pulled over to check the gps and took its directions. Well, we ended up crossing the eastern continental divide 4 times! Through all of this we were still only 38 miles away from the town we left that morning and 5 hours from SC!

We stopped for gas and the guy asked me where we were going. I said Myrtle Beach. His eyes got huge and he said, “If you can make your way to 52 by 7pm you might make it to Myrtle Beach by midnight.” We left at 9:30am and it was now 6pm and we were still 5 hours away from SC.

Through all of this, I have never heard my Mom laugh so much. We were all laughing so hard we were crying. That made all the crazy of the day worth it and we made it to my Aunts by 11pm but she had put dinner away and said “You crazy ladies can have it tomorrow!”

Here are some photos of the small amount of the parkway we drove.

What should have taken five hours took 13 hours! But we were always 5 hours away from our destination!

Three days ago I left with my Mom and Aunt on a road trip to Pawleys Island, SC where my other Aunt has a condo.

After my Dad passed away, my Aunt invited her to come down so I offered to drive. Now that I’m working for myself, I am able to work from anywhere so I am doing Zoom sessions while I’m away. The FREEDOM is AMAZING!!

Trips with my mom and Aunts are never boring. You never know what’s going to happen!

My mom and I left Elkhart Saturday morning and drove to Ohio to pick up my Aunt. We then drove through Ohio and West Virginia and stopped in Virginia.

Now…my Mom loves to plan trips. She planned all of our trips growing up and always planned some pretty awesome things to do. I ordered her info on all the places we are going so that she could begin planning. She met her new friend to talk with him about Pawleys Island since his daughter has a place here as well. She talked to friends who have been here. My Aunt came out from Ohio twice to plan. It gave my Mom something to focus on during her grief and it was fun to watch.

I let the three of them plan but said I need a full day for my own spa day in Myrtle Beach and a few days on the beach. They agreed and put it in the typed up and printed itinerary. Ha!!

I never thought to check the hotels that my Mom booked because, well, why would I?! When we pulled into the parking lot I became very nervous. I decided that MAYBE the rooms were renovated and new. Went in and checked in and saw a laminated sign that, thanks to my social work days, told me they have “pay by the hour” type guests. I walked into the room and said, “OHHHHH HECK NO!” I wouldn’t even bring our stuff in because there had to have been bed bugs, among other things I don’t want to think about!

I went back to the office having already decided that if they wouldn’t give us our money back, it wouldn’t matter. I would GLADLY take the hit! I walked in and said, “So, we won’t be staying here” and she immediately gave us our money back! We found a nice hotel that was great but I was ready to just sleep in the car or buy a tent! My mom has been fired from booking hotels.

On the drive down, a bear cub came out of the woods and onto the side of the highway. I have a goal to see a bear, alligator, dolphin and shark on this trip and day one I saw a bear. It was probably 6 feet away and thankfully it stopped, looked at us and turned around and went back into the woods. I could have hit the lil guy!

That was Day One. Wait till you hear about Day Two!

A year ago my cousin, Shauna, was fighting for her life. All of us were praying non-stop for God to heal her. I’m so thankful to be able to share this video with you guys. A 5% chance of survival to where she is at now is ALL Gods doing!

Hopefully this short video will encourage you to push through whatever it is you are going through.

https://www.wtol.com/article/news/local/its-a-miracle-im-alive-stroke-survivor-says-iconic-words-at-mud-hens-game-reflects-on-year-anniversary-of-major-stroke/512-7ebc8c4b-dd1b-49ab-a83e-a2c64105d5c3

I have not felt like writing anything for several months mainly because I haven’t known what to write. It’s been three months since my Dad passed away. Now that things have settled down, I’m starting to feel the grief kick in. Some days are fine and then days like today happen and they knock ya down.

One difficult part of this is running into people who haven’t heard what happened. “Hey! How’s your dad?” or “Where has your Dad been?” I had one of those encounters today and it wrecked me. The person cried. They loved my Dad. I hear that a lot. I just let the person cry, accepted their kindness and they walked away. Why did it wreck me? Because I don’t know this person that they seemed to have known. It’s what’s making walking through this grief so challenging.

It’s exhausting. It gives me a headache and causes my neck to hurt so bad I can’t turn it. I take something for the pain and then rest. Thankfully it’s not everyday but when it hits it hits hard.

Tonight I chose to listen to some Jason Upton. He’s not your typical Christian music guy. His songs go deep and is the type you can play while you’re resting. Two songs came on that I had never heard but they were what I was needing.

This first one reminded me that my one true Father has always been and always will be God. He knows me by name, guides me and never leaves me alone. This has proven to be true time and time again in my life.

The second one talks about the mountains and valleys in life but God is always there. “You take me in and you lead me out.” Right now I’m in a place I would rather not be but this is when healing happens and I want the healing.

In the midst of the grief, God is doing some cool things. Not everyday is a hard day. So much to be thankful for even in the hard times.

Thankful that God never leaves us alone.

He turned TWO!! He’s a toddler now but he will always be baby Harvey to me. It was fun to watch him get into opening his presents this year and watch him jump up and down when he was excited about the toys he got!

The past three months have been a blur so this party was a very welcomed happy and joyful day. He is such a great lil dude and a ton of fun to play with!

I’m thankful for my family. We just came off a difficult season but I watched all of us support each other and our Mom, which doesn’t always happen in situations like this.

My dad loved baby Harvey and the last thing he did with Harvey was play catch with him in the hospital. Harvey clapped and cheered when my dad caught the ball. It was very sweet!

Next up….Mason’s bday!

I realize I haven’t written on here for almost a month and that was done purposely. Not just because of being busy with preparing for the funeral and all that had to be done but because I haven’t been able to find the words to talk about all of it.

Everyday I get texts or phone calls with people asking how I’m doing. I appreciate it because it keeps me in check. It forces me to pay attention to my emotions and an opportunity to verbalize how I’m doing.

The emotions have hit hard this weekend. It’s coming up on a month and now that everything is over, it has all hit me. I started accepting invitations to lunch this past week and then went home and slept. This weekend has been a massive headache and exhaustion.

All I can say right now is that it was by far the most sacred experience I have ever been a part of. There is a lot to unpack from those few days and what I witnessed. Forgiveness was given and he managed to be able to show that he heard it. I always knew it would be a “deathbed confession” so to speak and though he didn’t actually ask for it, he did respond and I saw his body relax more and more. So many things that I’m just not ready to share yet but, WOW, I am in awe.

I absolutely know that he is in Heaven and I told a friend a few weeks ago that Heaven feels close enough to touch now. I have incredible peace but it still feels very heavy.

Keep the prayers coming, please. I can feel them and really need them now that it’s all hitting me.

That’s where my Dad is now. What a blessing to know he is made new and with Jesus.

It has been a hard journey since December 5, 2023. Almost two months of my dad going through pneumonia and a collapsed lung. Then he had the flu and double pneumonia. Was at two different rehab facilities and now at Goshen Hospital.

He was making progress just yesterday. I left feeling good about things and then I started getting texts at 1am, 2am and 3am. He was brought here to get fluids but tests showed his body was shutting down.

We all came and everyone was here all day. People came to pray with us. Texts of support.

Hymns have been playing for him. It’s amazing to watch him react even while he’s on comfort measures.

I am staying in the hospital all night with him. Just he and I. Music, scripture, praying and talking to him. Have had a few amazing moments.

I know he is seeing things or people. He will mumble and then say “hi.” He has reached out his hand like he is reaching for something.

This is gut wrenching to watch. The dying process can be a long process as the body starts to shut down. I’m struggling with watching what his body does. But I’m fascinated by what I’m watching from a spiritual perspective. It’s like he’s dreaming but he’s not. He’s seeing people. Angels. His parents and brother. My aunts and uncles and grandparents on my moms side. Most importantly this is when God is speaking to him. I don’t know what happens during this time but I know he’s seeing some amazing things.

I told him we will golf on the best courses someday in heaven. We will hang out and talk and explore. The imperfect relationship here will be made perfect there. I can’t wait!

Please pray for my dad as he prepares to meet Jesus.

December 29th was my last day working in the social work field. I turned in my printer, laptop, cell phone, badge and office keys on January 2nd and then went home and fell asleep for several hours. Not exactly what I thought I would be doing to celebrate!

I’ve actually been sleeping a lot the past two weeks. A LOT. I am not one who takes naps but over the past few weeks it seems that’s all my body has wanted to do! When I went part-time 7 months ago, my heart rate dropped something crazy like 42 points and it has continued to be that way. Someone recently asked what it is now that I have quit. I haven’t been wearing my watch for two weeks but once I charge it up I will find out.

I have already noticed some major differences. Outside of sleeping, my appetite is back. I am constantly hungry! Before, I would eat just to curb the hunger and keep going or I was too stressed to eat. I have been cooking very healthy meals again and it feels good.

My mind feels much less overwhelmed. The relief from that alone is worth resigning! My mind could not handle hearing peoples stories anymore, whether it was at work or with friends. It kept me from being a good friend at times, which is a horrible feeling.

I now have more headspace to reintroduce things that I love and enjoy back into my life…slowly.

I feel much more free to have fun because I have more time to have fun! (Once I’m not sleeping all the time)

Several people told me during all of this to “just quit and get another job!” Well, it’s not always that easy. Yes, there were jobs I could have had and yes, I was about to go mow yards to get a break, but it didn’t feel right.

We all have a calling and purpose but I’ve known mine since I was a kid and even though I REALLY struggled with it for a few years, I knew I couldn’t “just get a job.” I have always viewed life and lived life differently than others and after the past few years, I am thankful for that. Life is too short to cave to what society expects of you. There is so much more to life than living for the material things we strive for. This adventure God continues to have me on has brought healing, made me learn some life lessons, made me stop everything to get back on track, focus so I could hear and see what God was and is showing me and saying YES to what God is asking me to do.

Don’t just settle for a “job.” Take a step of faith and see what God does. Live in your calling and if you’re not sure what it is then, stop and ask God and then listen and watch. Don’t settle. It’s just not worth it!