I have not felt like writing anything for several months mainly because I haven’t known what to write. It’s been three months since my Dad passed away. Now that things have settled down, I’m starting to feel the grief kick in. Some days are fine and then days like today happen and they knock ya down.
One difficult part of this is running into people who haven’t heard what happened. “Hey! How’s your dad?” or “Where has your Dad been?” I had one of those encounters today and it wrecked me. The person cried. They loved my Dad. I hear that a lot. I just let the person cry, accepted their kindness and they walked away. Why did it wreck me? Because I don’t know this person that they seemed to have known. It’s what’s making walking through this grief so challenging.
It’s exhausting. It gives me a headache and causes my neck to hurt so bad I can’t turn it. I take something for the pain and then rest. Thankfully it’s not everyday but when it hits it hits hard.
Tonight I chose to listen to some Jason Upton. He’s not your typical Christian music guy. His songs go deep and is the type you can play while you’re resting. Two songs came on that I had never heard but they were what I was needing.
This first one reminded me that my one true Father has always been and always will be God. He knows me by name, guides me and never leaves me alone. This has proven to be true time and time again in my life.
The second one talks about the mountains and valleys in life but God is always there. “You take me in and you lead me out.” Right now I’m in a place I would rather not be but this is when healing happens and I want the healing.
In the midst of the grief, God is doing some cool things. Not everyday is a hard day. So much to be thankful for even in the hard times.
Thankful that God never leaves us alone.
Butterflies & Bumblebees 