I realize I haven’t written on here for almost a month and that was done purposely. Not just because of being busy with preparing for the funeral and all that had to be done but because I haven’t been able to find the words to talk about all of it.
Everyday I get texts or phone calls with people asking how I’m doing. I appreciate it because it keeps me in check. It forces me to pay attention to my emotions and an opportunity to verbalize how I’m doing.
The emotions have hit hard this weekend. It’s coming up on a month and now that everything is over, it has all hit me. I started accepting invitations to lunch this past week and then went home and slept. This weekend has been a massive headache and exhaustion.
All I can say right now is that it was by far the most sacred experience I have ever been a part of. There is a lot to unpack from those few days and what I witnessed. Forgiveness was given and he managed to be able to show that he heard it. I always knew it would be a “deathbed confession” so to speak and though he didn’t actually ask for it, he did respond and I saw his body relax more and more. So many things that I’m just not ready to share yet but, WOW, I am in awe.
I absolutely know that he is in Heaven and I told a friend a few weeks ago that Heaven feels close enough to touch now. I have incredible peace but it still feels very heavy.
Keep the prayers coming, please. I can feel them and really need them now that it’s all hitting me.
Butterflies & Bumblebees 