DAD:

There has been so much going on since November (at least) and I have lost track of who I have told about what’s been going on.

Back in November, my Mom fell and split her head open ear to ear. It was bad and required 27 staples and some stitches. Thankfully there was no brain bleed. A few days after having the staples and stitches removed, her ear started to bleed and ended up in the ER again for around the 5th time since summer. It ended up being a bad ear infection.

After Thanksgiving, my Dad started to get his typical sinus issues that went into chest congestion, that turned into pneumonia and a collapsed lung along with kidneys not working correctly. He had somewhere around 5 procedures while in the hospital to drain fluid from his lungs. He was in the hospital for 20 days before being moved to a rehab facility. Within the first two hours of him being in the rehab facility, his oxygen level went down to 77%. Although the facility said they could provide oxygen, it just wasn’t true.

My mom and sister arrived and found my Dad sitting on the edge of the bed struggling to breathe, a nurse trying to find an oxygen machine that worked, and a food service staff telling my Dad he needed to order food. The staff were confronted and they finally contacted a Dr. and they were told to call 911. Once the EMT’s had him on their oxygen he was fine. The ER called the facility and asked them what happened and would not allow my Dad to go back until they could trust that facility. So…Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent at the hospital. We were able to do our Christmas dinner that evening but everyone was so tired which made it a very quiet evening.

Christmas Day, one of my sister-in-laws, went to be assessed for depression and was prepared to check herself in but they wouldn’t take her because of her heart issues. She had open heart surgery in August and they are not equipped if something happens. She has lost her parents and brothers over the past 5 years or so and her only remaining sibling is in prison, so she has been through some intense grief and it’s all hitting her now.

Now that the rehab facility has fixed the issues, the hospital sent him back for rehab. He started refusing to eat and refusing to do the exercises. My siblings have gone several times to see him. It took me a little longer to go, partly because I was wrapping up ending my time at work, having Mason, but also because this has been difficult to face. There have been two times when we were not sure he was going to make it through this, so I went to have THE conversation with him but it has never been able to happen. One time he was hallucinating so that wasn’t the best time. My prayer has been that this experience would change his attitude but he still treats my Mom bad, which makes it hard for me to go.

I took Mason New Years Eve day and he wanted to wear his Santa hat and bells. Everyone loved him. He and I got lost in the facility and ended up in the nursing home part and he ended up making the residents day. They ate him up and he was SO kind and loving towards them. He made friends with all the staff and one asked him for a new car for Christmas. Mason said, “Ok but you have to wait until next year. Christmas is over.” He cracks me up. He seemed to cheer my Dad up but when you are in the hospital for so long, depression sets in plus who gets to sleep in a hospital? He is exhausted and just wants to sleep. Baby Harvey came as well and he stole the show too. It’s awesome how kids help those in hospitals, rehab hospitals and nursing homes.

Yesterday was a day when I knew I needed to go and spend the day. All of my siblings were there. We ordered him several different types of food to see what he could handle. Protein drink and a Diet Coke to cover up the taste is what worked. We made sure he was sitting up in his chair to keep his lungs clear. I pulled up a chair next to his recliner and helped him with the protein drink. I told him he needed to drink and expected a fight but he didn’t fight it. He just looked at me and although there were no words, we both knew some kind of healing happened. It was incredibly humbling for me, and him, but freeing as well.

My sister got a phone call last night from my Dad’s nurse and told her he tested positive for Influenza A and has started on Tamiflu and is back on oxygen. Now we know why he couldn’t handle the food. Once this passes we are hopeful that he will be able to do rebab and get strong enough to go home. My mom has been incredibly stressed and we are all ready for this to be done and him be home. I am not under the illusion that he will be kinder after all this but I do know that I have let go of some things and allowed myself to be humbled to the point of serving him. It has been a lifelong journey.

Continued prayers would be good. Even though life has been crazy, I have been at peace. I continue to learn how to hold the hard and the good and how to balance it all.